sound advice indeed

i meet MARK in PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. we were working together on a project. he was a part of the EPMO (external project managment office) team appointed by our client. extermely smart and intellectual, his face brimming with almost 3 decades of work experience. i had joined my team in south africa a little later. the delay was due to my MALAYSIAN assignment, which was unfinished when this project started. the first day i was formally introduced to the south african team. the same day, during a coffe break with one of my colleagues, i was been told "the andar ki khabar" about the south african team like "who is who in the zoo" and what care to take, etc. about MARK she said "bada moohffut hai wo, usse dur he rehna!". i realised later, it was very difficult to sell him anything, unless he was 110% convinced. he being a part of the same subteam which i belonged to, we had a regular interaction. to be true, i always thought twice, prepared twice, before going and waking up this giant for a discussion. we always had this who-the-hell-will-bell-the-cat situation before going in front of MARK.

by the end of that project, the same MARK had became a very good friend of mine. we are still in touch. although most of our communication is via emails, but we get to share the happenings in each others lives. i share my deepest secrets with him, i turn to him for advice, i share with him my happiness, i share with him my grief, a real good friend, almost the age of my dad.

last week i had asked him for some advice. below is the excerpt from the mail in which he responded (its a copy & paste of the original mail).

*me* do get back soon with you valuable advice bout the point LIFE!! :-)

*mark* My inputs on life probably not great. Christians have a concept which is universal. They call call it AGAPE love. Basically it means to love the world and whats in in unconditionally. Obviously an idyllic situation. I've only come across a few people that seem to strive to live their lives in this way. From my side your team of guys who came to SA were a lot closer to being like this that i'd seen in any other group. We never discussed religions then but I always wondered if indeed your religions (i don't know who fitted into which group) had a similar concept to which you all subsribe or endeavour. Any way - to my mind the concept is indeed universal and indeed I would like to think that i try to live my life in a way which displays this concept in a small way. Might sound silly or strange i know but i've managed in the last couple of months to successfully conclude some really sensitive business negotiations with suppliers! and also with our trade unions and one or two members of my staff by looking at my opposition and trying to really understand and 'love' them instead of just being antagonistic like some of my colleagues. In each instance I've managed to get what i want out of the situation wihout being 'soft' and have built some significant relationships along the way. I saw a note in a paper recently - it said - everyone has two ears and one mouth so try to use them proportionately. Sound advice indeed.

Guess thats enough on life from one who tends not to think to much about these issues.

You take care to. You'r a really special lad.

*me* take care.
*me* tot siens!

*me* eish.
*mark* PS 1: there a new ad on TV - it uses the word 'eish' in many creative ways. Whenever we see it we think of you. Its very south africanised and would not be well understood elsewhere but its a classic that combines the best of english, afrikaans and african culture into one. You should have stayed here - u could have been famous.
PS2: sorry my cricket team is a bunch of cheats and losers - from now on i support Sachin and his boys